Finding help
Everyone needs help sometimes.
Knowing when you need it, finding the support and assistance that is right for you and actually asking for any help, can be hard. But as hard as it seems, getting the help and support you need will leave you feeling a lot better about yourself and get you through all kinds of situations.
Recognising or admitting that things aren't going so well or that you have some sort of problem is the first big step in getting help. Sometimes it can be hard to ask for help if you believe that you have to handle things on your own - no matter how hard. You can easily be put off from finding help when people say to you "just get over it" or "you're weak if you can't handle your own problems". These kinds of comments are not helpful and can make situations worse especially if you start to believe them and stop looking for help or some support.
Finding help can be as simple as getting some info or talking to a friend about something that is bugging you. The sort of help that will help depends on the size of the problem or worry.
Asking for help can also be difficult when you feel down, lonely, confused, scared, angry or embarrassed. But if you don't deal with the problems then these kinds of feelings can go on for a long time and affect your mental and physical health. So the sooner you get help the better off you will be.
Getting help…Where do you start?
Get some information: Internet, books and pamphlets
Sometimes you can start by getting some information.
- Checking out websites and searching on the internet can often be helpful to look up basic information about an issue. Just beware that some sites don't have up to date, correct or safe information. The best sites to choose are well-known ones like hospital or government sites that are for young people.
- Also it's a good idea to check if the site is Australian as it may have more relevant info about local services. You could also go to your local library, council, youth or health service and see if they have the information you are seeking in books or pamphlets.
These Australian websites may be helpful
Finding someone to talk to
Getting information from the internet and pamphlets can help you get basic information but you might not get all the information you need. Also, if you are struggling and not coping with something that you are worried about, then it's important to find people out there who are willing to listen to you and help you directly.
Family and Friends
Most of us would probably go for help and support to family and friends first. This makes sense because our family and friends usually are the people that care about us, know us the best and who we expect will stick by us through thick and thin. Sometimes going to your parents, siblings or mates is not an easy thing to do. Maybe it might be because:
- The problem or issue could involve family/friends.
- You may feel the issue is too serious and you don't want to worry them
- You may feel embarrassed to tell someone you know
- Perhaps family/friends might not be able to deal with the problem because they are dealing with a lot of things themselves
If you choose friends as your point of call for help, you might have to think about who you want to tell first. Is it someone you can trust? Perhaps even tell them this is something you wish to stay between you and that friend because you don't want others finding out.
But remember, if what you tell them makes them worried about you or if they think you are in danger, they might have to tell someone about it. After all, a real friend will be more worried about your health and safety than about you getting a bit mad with them for telling. The same goes choosing a family member to discuss your problem.
Helplines
Another starting point might be to contact a telephone information or helpline such as
- Kids help line 1800 551 800
- Youth Healthline 1300 13 17 19 ( South Australia only)
- Lifeline 13 11 14.
These sorts of services usually provide information and advice 7 days a week, covering all sorts of problems and if needed they can suggest where you could go next to get help in your local community.
The number for other phone helplines can be found in the first few pages of the telephone book.
Other people who can help
Depending on what the issue is, how big the problem is and who it involves, it may be more helpful to talk with someone other than family and friends such as a
- Teacher, coach or school counsellor
- Doctor
- Community, health, social or youth worker
- Psychiatrist or psychologist
A school counsellor, for example, can be helpful if you want to learn more about youth services or programs in your area and they can refer you to the best one suited to you and your situation. You can also pick up pamphlets from your doctor's surgery but more importantly a GP can refer you on to a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Seeing a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist
There are some misconceptions surrounding qualified health professionals such as psychiatrists. Sometimes we have the wrong idea about their job or worry that someone will find out what you're there to discuss.
Psychologists and psychiatrists are very similar but are different in their own way. They both can offer support to anyone with an issue or problem. They can help you to sort through your feelings and thoughts about issues and gain the skills to overcome them and future problems on your own. The difference is a psychiatrist has a medical degree and can prescribe medication, whereas a psychologist can't.
Keeping it confidential
It can often feel awkward or daunting telling someone you don't know very well about any worries you have. The important thing to remember is that qualified Counsellors do keep the information you share with them confidential. The only way your situation can be discussed with others is if:
- You are in serious danger of harming yourself or others
- You are being hurt or abused by an adult
- You agree that it would be useful for someone else to know about your situation.
Is it helping?
It's sometimes hard to find where to go for help and then when you do find help you may not feel happy with the person. But its worth remembering that it can take time to get to know the person you're working with and to feel comfortable with them. Also, it can take some time before you "start seeing results" and sorting out problems or issues. If you do feel that a counsellor or worker is not right for you then it is totally fine to look or ask for someone else. It's important to remember that there is always someone willing to listen and help out so if at first you don't succeed try, try again and don't give up.
For more ideas about finding help check out
Problem solving - Problems? How to spot them. How to solve them.
Persistence - If at first you don't succeed - try, try persistence.
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