Sex: think about it

SEX - now that I've got your attention, think about it!

Sex sells and it's in our face all of the time!

Do you get to a certain age and all of a sudden everyone around you is having sex?

It sure seems so. They are doing it on TV, your friends are doing it (at least the guys at school reckon they are!) and your body's going through all of these changes and now you're starting to think about it…

Once, people just waited until they were married and it seemed an easy although frustrating decision. Nowadays, most of us don't fancy the thought of being married at the age of 17 but many of us are interested in relationships with others that are about more than just being friends.

So should you or shouldn't you? I always felt a wise answer to this was if you have to ask maybe you shouldn't. While sex gets thrown around, abused and sold the reality is it is a big deal and if you feel you are making or have made the wrong decision, it's really going to affect your mental health – it is going to affect the way you think and feel about yourself and others.

It's important to remember that you always have a choice about sex and sexual activities. In South Australia, a young person can legally consent to sex when they are 17 years old. If you don't want to or don't feel ready to have sex, then you don't have to. If you say ‘NO' and someone forces you (or if you force someone) to have sex then it is rape. Sex shouldn't be violent, harmful, threatening or make you feel bad.

So whether you have had sex before or not, here are some things you might want to think about:

• Ask yourself if you are mature and ready in every way
• If you do it, will you feel guilty or bad about yourself?
• Does your girlfriend/boyfriend really respect and care about you and how do you feel about them?
• Can you talk about the things that you do and don't want to do?
• How can you have more trust and respect in your relationship?
• Who can you turn to if you have an unpleasant sexual experience?

If you have sex and you end up feeling guilty, hurt or used it's really going to play on your mind and this can be stressful and have a negative effect on your self confidence and self esteem.

Sex is one time where if you make a mistake it could affect your life for a long time. If you decide to have sex, ALWAYS use protection like a CONDOM or dam. If you don't, you might have to deal with an unplanned pregnancy or catch a STI

(Sexually Transmitted Infection) and that will affect your life, mental health and physical health in BIG ways. Babies are forever and if you become a father or a mother you will always have that responsibility. STI's can be very painful and cause all sorts of health problems. This can all be very stressful.

You can't tell if someone has a STI by looking at them. There are many STI's and you could catch anything from genital warts or herpes to Chlamydia. Some people might lie about their past sexual experiences. So if someone doesn't want to have safe sex with you, then the chances are they have had unprotected sex before and are putting you and themselves at risk! Also being on any drugs and alcohol can affect your decisions and actions about sex and safe sex – so think about it!

There is no way around using protection and no matter what anyone tells you, you always need to practice safe and consenting sex – it's a proven way to prevent many STI's and unplanned pregnancies. If you don't know much about safe sex or if you are unclear about how to use condoms etc. then borrow a book, read the instructions on the condom packaging, talk with a doctor or contact a health or youth centre. You can also find info about safe sex and sexual health on the Internet but be aware that there is a lot of sleazy stuff about sex on the Net that is not very accurate or helpful.

Talk about sex and relationships with your friends and family to find out their opinions and thoughts. For the facts ask a school counsellor, parent or health professional.

Develop an understanding of who you are and feel confident, ready and clear in making decisions about sex and sexual relationships. Sex is supposed to be a positive experience for both you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. There is no need to rush things, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend can be close and get to know each other in intimate ways such as through hugging or kissing.

Don't believe all the hype. Not everyone around you is having sex and lots of people wait for a time or a girlfriend/boyfriend that is right for them. There is no time or age limit that you should have sex by and you can't make someone like you more by having sex with them. Remember it's your body and what you do with it is up to you. Have respect for yourself and be safe and respectful in what you do.

For more information about sexual matters call the Sexual Health Hotline on 8364 0444 or Toll Free 1800 188 171, Monday to Friday 9.00am – 1.00pm

Back to top