Gossip

What it is! Well that part is easy.

How to deal with it? That's the hard part.

Gossip is information about a person, true or false, that gets spread around.

Gossip can work like whispers; the original information can be distorted, changed and even made worse as it is passed on.

Example:

Jane told her friend Jill how proud Mel was because she had won a small modelling competition. Jill told her other friends that Mel thought she was really good because she had won a modelling competition. By the time it got around to everyone else AND back to Mel, a private fact had become idle gossip. The gossip was now, "Mel is so up herself, thinks she's some big shot and reckons she won some huge modelling comp. She thinks she's so pretty, hasn't she seen the size of her fat ass lately?"

Mel didn't want her news spread around, she only told a few people. Those few people only told a few others. That was enough to start a chain reaction. The outcome? People formed the opinion that Mel is stuck up, and started bitching about all her flaws and this took away any self-confidence she gained from her small triumph.

Gossip hurts

Some gossip is forgotten in a week. Other gossip lasts a lifetime. But nearly all gossip is destructive. It can wreck friendships and relationships. It can cause problems in your working environment such as school. It can put pressure on the things you do and the choices you make. It can hurt your feelings, and cause you to have a bad self-image. It can even lead to depression. Gossip has an effect on everything.

It's hard to think of anything good that can come out of gossiping. It could be in your favour if it gets spread around that you beat someone up, though others and adults might think less of you. Or what if someone decides that if you're supposed to be such a big shot then you should prove it and you end up pulverised?

Gossip is popular because people like to hear big bad juicy things about other people. It can give someone the feeling of power or popularity if they are being able to join in this discussion (bitching session) about someone who is 'less' than them.

Some even think if they keep everyone else busy enough with gossip about others then no-one will gossip about them. Gossip can also become a habit. Making a bad comment about anything you hear can become second nature. We have all gossiped before in our lives and we will do it again. People often gossip without even realising WHAT they are doing.

There are 2 sides to consider when thinking about how to deal with gossip:

The giving end and the receiving end.

First let's deal with the receiving end

There is no sure-fire plan to end all gossiping that might go around about you, but there are things you can do to lessen the impact. The first obvious one is to ignore it. Easier said than done, right? Showing the people that might have started some horrible gossip that it is affecting you is only chucking fuel on a fire. But some gossip is hard to ignore. And even if you do ignore it, it can still cause damage. You can try to correct it, with a nicer version of what is being said. (Remember truth doesn't count for much when it comes to gossip). The only alternative is to try your best not to become a victim of gossip. Don't give them anything that can turn into gossip. Be careful of what you do and especially of what you say and who you say it to! A simple innocent remark or a joke can be turned into a nasty piece of gossip. This can be a little difficult and unfair but sometimes it's the only choice a person has. But even then, if they want to, they can just MAKE something up. Most of all, keep your secrets, and if you must share them, tell them only to trusted friends! Just remember, if you are going to open your mouth about something that you've done, they sure aren't going to keep theirs shut!

Now for the giving end

The thing to keep in mind is that gossip hurts. Try to ignore gossip you hear about others and don't go spreading it further. Tell them that they shouldn't be doing it and that you don't want to hear about it. Don't join in. If you know the truth about what the gossip is about then correct it if you can, and as long as it's not going to have a worse effect. And keep your mouth shut if you know something. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Would you like it done to you?

Just remember this simple rule ... 'If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all'.

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