Friends. Being a good one...
Friends can play an important role in the well-being of your mental health. They can also play a major role in making your life a misery, thereby affecting your mental health in a negative way. Your friends may be your girl/boy friend, school friends, brother or sister, parents and the list goes on. How these people treat you as an individual determines how friendly you are with them. Someone who puts you down all the time, or makes fun of you, but still wants to be friends with you can be very damaging to your self-confidence, and you would begin to believe that this is how you are to be treated in any relationship.
If someone is always complimenting you, or always there for you, you would naturally become closer to this person than the person who puts you down. This person is a good friend, and is making a positive contribution to your mental health.
True friends have a very positive impact on your life. You can always rely on them when you have a problem, and if you just want to be silly, they will not laugh at you, but with you. In television programs, when people have an argument with their friend they often make up again. In real life this is not always the case. Depending on what caused the disagreement, it can often be hard to ‘forgive and forget'.
You may often hear the sayings 'put yourself into their shoes' and 'treat others how you want to be treated'. Unfortunately these are harder than they seem. As often as you remind yourself to be friendly to others, because you want them to be friendly to you, it can still be difficult to paste a smile on your face every day.
Have you ever stopped and wondered what made you become close friends with the people you did? Was it looks? Often in a school scene it is necessary to be friends with the ‘in group' who are all cool and popular with everyone. Or did you choose your friends based on personality? It is always good to be around a person who is happy and funny, and treats you well. Sometimes it is better to be around people with a nice personality, than people who are part of the ‘in crowd', because you are often treated better and your relationship is one of understanding and trust.
In a small school, it is often a case of the 'best' group, 'nearly there' group, and 'uncool geeky' group. In these cases, reputation is something that everyone wants to uphold. But in many cases, looks can play a major role in deciding which group you are in. This can damage self-esteem and make people think they are geeky or uncool, when really they could be the nicest friend that someone could have. They could love a good time the same as any other person. It is sort of like saying 'don't judge a book by its cover'. If you get to know the people around you that you do not normally socialise with, you may find that they are really friendly and share a lot of common interests with you.
It is hard to start a new school, make new friends, find your way around, and cope with new surroundings. It can be a very stressful time. But you will always find someone who will introduce you to their friends, and you will get to know more people. Although, you may not realise until later on that these may not be the sort of friends you are looking for. All you need to do is be friendly with lots of different people. This does not mean you are buddies with everyone, but you can smile and chat with them and you will find that they will smile and chat back.
The best thing to do to make and keep friends is try to be friendly, and yes, treat others how you would like to be treated. There may be hard times in a friendship, but if you can get over the hurdles, it is a sign of true friendship.
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