Think about the people around you – young and old – and think about how these friends and family manage the stresses and strains that are a part of life.
Who is able to work their way through problems and come out the other side and who gets stuck and weighed down?
People who are able to bounce back from the difficult times are said to be "resilient."
So what is resilience and why is it important?
Resilience is about the ability to deal with and succeed in difficult situations and events. Resilience is a mix of key skills and characteristics of a person and the social supports and environment in which they live.
Key skills can be taught from a very young age and the development of these skills depends on the positive support and relationships with people who surround us in the family and community.
Being resilient is important because it can help to protect us against the stresses that we all experience in life.
Helping your child become resilient will assist them to become effective adults.
The resilient child is one who continues to work, play well, love well and expect well (Bernard, 1991).
Some of the characteristics of resilient children include:
- Being socially competent: this means being flexible, caring and being able to communicate well
- Having effective problem solving skills: this means being able to work out what the problem is, think of different ways to solve the problem and being able to plan ahead
- Being autonomous: this means having high self esteem, being self disciplined and independent
- Having a sense of purpose and future: this means having goals in life, being motivated, wanting to be educated, being persistent and hopeful
So what can family and friends do to promote resilience in children?
There are three main ways that parents and friends can influence and support
children.
Caring and support
This means that your child has a close relationship with at least one adult
in the family or extended family environment and that affection is expressed
physically and verbally (that is you can hear and see the affection).
High expectations
This means that parents have positive goals for their children and their future,
that they provide routines and rules in a safe and positive way that helps
children grow up understanding how the world works. Parents also value and
encourage the children's education. This does not mean setting the bar so
high that your child cannot possibly reach it, but helping your child with
realistic and positive goals.
Encouraging children's participation
This means giving children the opportunity to be involved in a real way in
family activities. This includes deciding on important things such as holidays
and helping with jobs around home. This is about encouraging children's independence
and helping them take charge of their lives as they get older.
One positive experience, or the influence of one person,
(eg. the teacher who believes that you have talent, the grandmother who is sure
that you will make it) can make a difference to a child's resilience. The message is clear: that individuals and simple opportunities are what
made the difference to the outcome of their lives.
References and more information
Related links
Parenting SA Parent Easy Guide # 79 Mental Health
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| Material contained in this publication
is of a general nature only and is not nor is it intended to be opinion
or advice on any specific medical problem. If you need to talk to someone
urgently, please contact the following crisis counselling services. Kids
Help Line (24 hour) 1800 55 1800, Life Line (24 hour) 13 1114, Crisis
Care 13 1611 (4pm-8am week days - 24 hours from 4pm Fridays to 8am Mondays)
SA only. Copyright© CYWHS, Women's and Children's Hospital 2007. Disclaimer. All enquiries about this web site should be directed to info@headroom.net.au About the Headroom Project. Your Online Privacy |
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